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The Struggle Is Real - Part 2: 10 Tips for Being a Fit, Badass Mama (or Dada)

7/18/2018

If you read my last blog post, you know that over the course of the past year-and-a-half, I have been struggling to get my health and nutrition on point. I got into the best shape of my life just a few months after having my daughter in 2016 thanks to the amazing calorie burn of breastfeeding and the fact I took an extended maternity leave and used my "free time" to train in my garage for my Russian Kettlebell Challenge kettlebell instructor certification. But immediately after passing my certification in February 2017, I returned to work full-time, and the stress and challenges of juggling work, baby, buying and selling multiple homes, moving multiple times, maintaining multiple households, and just generally trying to figure out how to do working mamahood completely overwhelmed me, and this fitness and nutrition expert - who holds multiple certifications in both disciplines - let her health and wellness slide.

Finally, in January of this year, I decided to "stop the insanity" (who else is old enough to remember this Susan Powter reference?) and get control of my health again - a work-in-progress for sure. And during this process, I have discovered a number of tips and tricks for how to regain your health and fitness when you are a busy, exhausted and overwhelmed parent, and over the course of my next few blog posts, I will share my 10 Tips for Being a Fit, Badass Mama (or Dada).

Tip #1: Ditch Perfectionism and Embrace the Gray

When it comes to living a fit and healthy lifestyle, one of the biggest obstacles to achieving your goals is the fact that many of us live in a world with only two colors - black and white. We take an all-or-nothing approach to dieting and/or working out, and if we aren't able to stick with a certain fitness program to the letter, or we "cheat" on the newest fad diet ("I ate a carb! I ate a carb! It's over!"), then we throw in the towel and vow to start over "next Monday," and the cycle continues.

The reality is that despite what you see on social media, which generally represents the "highlight reel" of people's lives and not the full picture with all of their messy closets and sad moments exposed, the majority of life takes place in the vast land of gray that is filled with many shades (50 at least...), and our ability to achieve our health and wellness goals and find balance in our lives is largely a function of embracing this concept - particularly as a busy mama. This may sound easy and yet for many of us with Type A (A+, let's be honest...) personalities, admitting that we should lower our standards is a tough pill to swallow.

Most of you are probably familiar with the Pareto Principle, a.k.a. the law of the vital few, which states that for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. But when it comes to your health and wellness, what I now know is true is that if you spend the majority of the time (let's say 80%, for the sake of this argument) on making healthy choices, you will achieve your goals. Because in the equation of life, losing weight, getting fit and improving your health are the sum of all of your choices and habits over time; they do not equal - either positively or negatively - any single decision you make in any given moment.

So, my #1 tip to being a Fit, Badass Mama/Dada is to ditch the perfectionism, embrace the gray in all aspects of your life, and strive to do just a little better, a little more often. Because when it comes to losing weight and getting fit, good enough, is indeed good enough, mama.

Tip #2: Nutrition Is the Grand Poobah of Health and Wellness

This next tip might be hard for you to digest (pun intended), since I know many of you enjoy working out more than noshing on veggies and drinking large quantities of water, but when it comes to your health, particularly weight loss, nutrition is responsible for 80% of your results.

(Actually, nutrition may be responsible for 75% - or maybe 90% - of your results. But following the theme of the Pareto Principle from tip #1, I'll stick with 80%, which represents the general consensus on this topic anyway.)

Let me repeat this to allow it to marinate (again, pun intended). If your goal is to lose weight or get healthier, the vast majority of your results are a function of what you eat and not a function of how much time you spend in the gym or how intensely you workout. Or even whether you workout at all.

Certainly, staying active is an important aspect of good health and can serve as a catalyst for living an overall healthier lifestyle, but if your goal is to improve your health and/or to lose some weight, you should spend 80% of your time and efforts on improving what you put in your mouth 80% of the time (see how I connected tips #1 and #2 here?), and only 20% of your energy on working out.

What this means in practice is that if you have 5 hours each week to spend on your fitness and nutrition, then 80% of that time (or 4 hours, in this example) should be spent doing what it takes to eat healthier most (80%) of the time (e.g., meal planning, grocery shopping, meal prepping, cooking, etc.), and only 1 hour on formal exercise (for example, 3, 20-minute sessions over the course of the week). Because in my years of experience in the fitness world, what I now know is true is that most people struggle most of the time in the kitchen (and not in the gym), and since nutrition is responsible for most of your results, it just makes sense to focus most of your time on cleaning up your diet - most of the time.

Tip #3: If All Else Fails, Be NEAT

As busy parents, it is often hard to find time to get to the gym or do any sort of formal workout. Which should make you happy to learn that Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis (a.k.a., NEAT) plays a bigger role in helping people achieve their health and weight loss goals than many of us realize.

What is NEAT exactly? NEAT is the energy expended for everything we do other than sleeping, eating or engaging in formal, sports-like exercise. Think going for a casual stroll with your dog, gardening, or doing laundry.

This looks like a "NEAT" way to mop your floors.

Recent research now suggests that most of the time NEAT is more impactful than formal exercise when it comes to weight loss. As Dr. James Levine, a Mayo Clinic obesity researcher who coined the term "NEAT," has stated: "You can expend calories in one of two ways. One is to go to the gym and the other is through all the activities of daily living called NEAT (Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis). It appears that NEAT is far more important for calorie-burning than exercise in nearly everyone." (And I'm assuming that means for all of us who aren't professional athletes.)

In National Geographic's well-known study of the longest living and healthiest populations in the world, the highly-acclaimed (and highly-recommended) book The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner reveals that very few of these supremely healthy, fit and long-living individuals ever stepped foot in a gym, picked up a dumbbell, or stepped on an elliptical machine. Instead, they often walk or bike for transportation, spend time performing yard work, and play with their (great, great-) grandchildren.

So if you are a busy mom or dad who just can't seem to fit a formal workout program into your overwhelming schedules, do not let it discourage you. Be OK in the land of the gray, cancel your unused gym membership (at least for the time being) and instead focus most of your time improving your nutrition and the rest of your energy doing what you can to increase your NEAT each day. Take the stairs at work. Mow the lawn. Park farther away from the entrance to the grocery store. Stand up and move around while you're on conference calls. Go for a short walk after dinner with your family. And maybe even invest the money you've saved after ditching your gym membership in a pedometer so you can track your NEAT progress daily as you gracefully whisk across your kitchen floor in your brand-spanking-new mop slippers.

Being a parent is hard. It is time-consuming, it is exhausting, and it does not leave you with much "free time" to focus on yourself and your own needs. So if your goal is fat loss, weight loss or improved health, what I now know is true is that it makes sense to spend most of your precious time on the "big rocks" that are most likely to help you achieve the results you want - eating better and incorporating more movement into your everyday life - and then fitting in the "little rocks" - like formal exercise - when you can, as (sugar-free) icing on the top of the (gluten-free) cake.

Whether your children are 2 or 20, if your life is crazy and you are struggling to stay or get healthy, to lose or maintain weight, or just be the best version of yourself, stay tuned and subscribe to my blog so you don't miss the rest of my Tips for Being a Fit, Badass Mama (or Dada). And please leave a comment below to share your advice for living a fit and healthy lifestyle when you life is OOC!

Until next time, by happy and healthy,

Kathleen

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the struggle is real - part 1: my confession

6/28/2018

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Whether you are a mama who has a full- or part-time gig outside the house, or a stay-at-home mom who is the President and CEO of your household, the struggle to find a moment to yourself in any given day is real (which might explain why my blog has been on a sabbatical for so long...). Heck, I rarely go to the bathroom alone anymore. True story.

I have to admit, before I had my daughter (formerly known as Beautiful Baby A, she has now graduated to Beautiful Toddler A or BTA), I did not understand this struggle at all. As someone who (was childless and) managed to work 20-hour days in a large law firm at the same time I was the lead singer in a (very amateur) band , cared for 2 dogs and was training for my first marathon, I honestly (and quite embarrassingly) thought it was a poor excuse that my parental friends complained about gaining weight because they did not not have time to workout or cook.

I had no idea. And I am ashamed of my former self.

At first after having BTA, life was actually pretty easy (although I didn't think so at the time). She didn't sleep through the night until she was 8 or 9 months old, but BTA: (1) was immobile, which meant I could plop her down in her bouncy or put her in the wearable and actually try to get a few things done while she was chillin'; and (2) slept in shorts stints throughout the day and night, which gave mama time to do things around the house (and write blog posts...). Plus, I took an extended maternity leave, so for the first 8 months of her life, my entire existence was about taking care of her, our household and myself. I even successfully trained for my Russian Kettlebell instructor certification, which I achieved less than 8 months after giving birth via C-section at nearly the age of 43.

I can honestly say I was in the best shape of my life just a few months after I had a baby.

Me less than 3 months after giving birth (2 months before my 43rd birthday)

Fast-forward two years later, and I feel like most days are neverending tornadoes wrapped in hurricanes. I get up in the 5s, hopefully early enough to take Bailey the Pup out before his little sis awakes (she is an early riser, damnit). On the days I go into the office, I quickly try to get myself somewhat presentable (and by somewhat, I mean put my hair in a ponytail, throw on something other than a T-shirt and yoga pants, and slop on some tinted moisturizer and mascara, but only if there is time - because #momlife) before I head out the door at 6 a.m.

My glamorous #momlife uniform - ponytail, no makeup, workout clothes.

On the days I work from home, I spend the next hour or so playing with BTA and getting her ready for "school" (a.k.a., daycare), which includes making our obligatory smoothie together, struggling to change her diaper, and fighting to put sunscreen on her (the Terrible Twos are also real, my friends). After dropping BTA off at school, I return home to my computer, where I sit working for 99% of the day - until I rush out the door in the evening to pick her up from daycare (when I am often still on work calls).

Since BTA is usually ready for dinner as soon as she gets home, I have to figure out how to juggle making dinner and keeping her entertained and appeased at the same time. After dinner, it is more playtime, which right now almost always includes listening and dancing to "Let It Go" from the movie Frozen over and over and over again ("Mo' Let It Go, mama, mo' Let It Go"). Then it's a bubble bath for BTA, a challenge (usually) to brush her teeth, reading time, and finally singing our duet rendition of the highly-acclaimed classic "Twinkle, Twinkle." Then I tuck her in, securely surrounded by all of her "stuffies" (basically, every single known Sesame Street character), and she doses off after giving me multiple kisses. At that point, mama is totally exhausted, and yet I usually have a kitchen to clean, laundry to fold, a dog to feed and walk, and a whole host of other household chores to complete, which generally keep me busy up until I head to bed - at 9 p.m.

I know, I know. I lead a rockstar lifestyle.

I am convinced there are subliminal messages in this song that only toddler girls can understand and that tell them to play "Let It Go" over and over again until their parents go crazy.

So much for working out daily and making delicious and healthy, complex meals every night.

Confession time. After I returned to work last year, I let the craziness of full-time working motherhood get the best of me. I (mostly) stopped working out, (often) stopped cooking meals, and (completely) fell into a health slump. I gained a few pounds, lost my sense of self, and by New Year's 2018 was feeling pretty bad about myself. That's when I leaned in hard to figure out hacks for living a healthy and (relatively, but let's be honest, not completely) balanced life as a full-time working mom.

Over the course of the next few weeks (OK, let's be honest - the next few months), I'll be sharing with you my Top 10 Hacks for Being a Fit, Badass Mama (and by the way, this is equally applicable to Badass Dadas, too). Whether your children are 2 or 20, if your life is crazy and you are struggling to stay or get healthy, to lose or maintain weight, or just to be the best version of yourself, stay tuned.

Because I completely, thoroughly and wholeheartedly understand now. The struggle is real.

Until next time, be healthy and happy,

Kathleen

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Why Quitting the Gym May Be Your Healthiest New Year's Resolution Ever

1/12/2018

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The all-or-nothing mindset is a deal killer when it comes to your health and wellness goals. And yet so many of us become victim to it - particularly at this time of year, when New Year's Resolutioning abounds.

We're either following a workout program religiously, or doing nothing. On a diet, or on the couch drinking wine and noshing on chips. Abstaining, or binging.

I have to admit that I fell into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking in 2017 when it came to my own fitness regimen. Heck, I fell into this trap when it came to writing my blog.

Since last February, as I have struggled to settle into working mamahood, I have been monumentally challenged by the juggling act that this lifestyle entails, and between daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, notorious DC traffic, jam-packed workdays, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundering, tending to my 19-month old, trying to maintain 2 households, studying for a pre- and post-natal coaching certification, and too infrequently catching up with friends and family, I let my workouts take a major backseat. Like a seat in the far back row of a large bus.

As someone who spent the past 2 decades working out almost daily, I finally understood the plight of so many others who proclaim that they "don't have time to exercise."

Unable to fit in one of my "normal" (translation: pre-baby) workout sessions, which may have consisted of thrice weekly, hour-long CrossFit classes, 60+ minutes lifting weights and doing high-intensity interval training (HIIT) at the gym, or a 3-hour, Saturday long run followed by a brunch with friends, I resigned more often than not to do nothing. Because if I couldn't do the "perfect" workout, I wasn't going to workout at all.

(Or if I couldn't find the time to write the "perfect" blog post, I wasn't going to write anything. Hence, my extended 2017 blogging sabbatical.)

One of the biggest problems I see with most New Year's Resolutions, and with most popular health, fitness and nutrition programs on the market today, is their ability to encourage what appears to be our natural propensity to have an all-or-nothing mindset when it comes to fitness and food. They prescribe detailed plans that often require significant time, planning, equipment, obscure ingredients and expensive supplements.

Yet, whether you work full-time, parent full-time, do both or something in between, most of us are already overburdened, overstressed, overscheduled and overwhelmed, and we don't have time for long workouts or complicated recipes, which may explain why the vast majority of us (an estimated 92%) fail on our New Year's Resolutions.

As I reflect on 2017, I realize that the all-or-nothing mindset resulted in me having a beyond disappointing year when it came to my overall wellness, causing me to feel a lot of guilt - guilt about not working out, about not being a healthy role model for my daughter or my many followers, about my loss of muscle tone and energy, about not living like the person I aspire to be.

Perhaps some of you can relate.

And probably the source of guilt that magnified this all-or-nothing mindset the most for me was the fact that all year I paid top dollar for a gym membership that I rarely used.

Just about every week I made plans to go to the gym. And just about every week, when my schedule got in the way of me going, I subconsciously told myself that if I could not get in my "perfect," planned gym workout, then I would do nothing. And nothing is what I did more days than not since my maternity leave ended last February and I returned to the working world.

Don't get me wrong. Gym memberships and intense, short-term fitness and nutrition programs certainly play a role in the fitness industry, but not for everyone, not for every day, not for every season of life, and certainly not as a sustainable, lifelong option for most of us.

The subject of my girl crush.

Borrowing a phrase from the great Oprah Winfrey (I love me some Oprah...), "what I know for sure" is that in between the deep, dark black of never working out and the pure snow white of spending hours at the gym every week, exists a beautiful shade of gray in which the vast majority of us will spend the vast majority of our lives.

I once read that when Audrey Hepburn was asked how she maintained such a happy disposition after suffering from a childhood in Europe plagued with war and hunger, she responded that she never had high expectations for life, so she was always pleasantly surprised by what happened to her rather than tragically disappointed.

Also girl crush-worthy.

In essence, Ms. Hepburn suggested that the key to happiness is effective expectation management. And perhaps effective expectation management is also the first step in creating a sustainable fitness and nutrition routine as well.

With these insights, I've decided to set a New Year's Resolution to cancel my gym membership in 2018, because realistically, I'm going to spend a lot of money on something I no longer have the time to enjoy. I need to dump the guilt that paralyzed me in 2017, accept the season of life I'm in and its limitations, and manage my expectations of what a workout looks like in this season, which more likely means a 15-minute kettlebell swing session held in the tiny living room of my apartment while my daughter naps than an intense, hour-long barbell session at the gym, which is a 15-minute drive from home.

If you have a gym membership and any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to ditch the all-or-nothing mindset, dump your membership, and start feeling better about yourself and the season of life you're in right now. And if you don't have a gym membership, but your health has suffered from perfectionist thinking, I encourage you to reevaluate your expectations as well.

You have a much better chance of achieving your health and fitness goals if you create a realistic and doable plan that you can follow consistently, taking advantage of the little golden nuggets of free space that might appear on your calendar on any given day, than if you sporadically try to follow a time-consuming program that does not fit into your daily reality. You can build a home gym for less money than a few months' gym dues, and you can do an effective, full-body workout in less time than it would take to drive to the gym. And I am here to help you figure out how to do this.

Over the next few months, I'll be sharing on social media my tips and tricks for building your home gym and creating an at-home fitness routine that works for even the busiest individuals. I encourage you to click on the links above to subscribe to this blog and Like/Follow bells & peppers on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., so that you don't miss out on important postings, updates and Live events.

In the meantime, post a Comment below or email or direct message me if you have any questions about fitness, nutrition, or saying sayonara to that all-or-nothing thinking once and for all, so that you can start feeling better about yourself and pursuing a healthier and happier lifestyle in 2018.

Until next time, be healthy and happy (and Happy New Year!),
Kathleen

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A Healthy, 15-Minute Meal Everyone In Your Family Will Love

4/13/2017

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If you follow me on Facebook, you know that I have been creating a series of short, daily workouts for my followers to help them fit movement into their busy lives. Known as The Daily 15, The Daily Shorty and the Morning Dose, these workouts have been my savior over the past month, because juggling full-time work, caring for an infant, maintaining a household and starting a business has been incredibly challenging and a graduate-level exercise in time management.

Despite the fact I love working out because it is my therapy and "me time," quick workouts are often the best I can do right now. Similarly, although I love cooking, on most days, I probably have about 15-20 minutes to dedicate to meal preparation for any given meal, and so I have been scouring the Internet for healthy recipes that can be made, start-to-finish, in under 20 minutes (I'm quite sure Rachel Ray's empire would have been built on 15 and not 30-minute meals if she had children of her own...).

I recently stumbled upon a 15-minute pasta dish that is perfect for spring and so easy and delicious to make that I felt compelled to share it with all of you. Not only did The Man, The Au Pair, and I love this meal, but so did Beautiful Baby A, who is enjoying her solids more and more as she approaches 10 months old and has 4 teeth showing!

What? I have something on my face?

The recipe, appropriately entitled 15-Minute Creamy Avocado Pasta, comes from one of my favorite blogs, Oh She Glows. If made with gluten-free noodles, it is vegan, nut-free, refined sugar-free, soy-free and gluten-free, but full of flavor.

My only modification to the original recipe, which can be found here, was to add halved cherry tomatoes to the pasta after mixing it with the avocado sauce. This adds a pop of color as well as some extra veg nutrition (I know, I know. A tomato is a fruit not a veg...), and I really think it makes the dish. I recommend serving this with some Ezekiel garlic bread, along with a side of roasted asparagus (because it is spring, after all). As written, the recipe makes 3 servings, but feel free to double or triple it if you have a bigger family or want leftovers for lunch the next day.

15-Minute Creamy Avocado Pasta

Ingredients:
9 ounces uncooked pasta (I used tiny pasta so that it was baby-friendly)
1-2 cloves garlic (I used 2, which was perfect for us)
¼ cup lightly packed fresh basil leaves, plus more for a garnish when serving
1-2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 Tbsp. EVOO (that's Extra Virgin Olive Oil - an homage to the 30-minute cook herself)
1 ripe, medium avocado, pitted
1 Tbsp. water
¼-½ fine sea salt (I left this out because extra salt is a no-no for babies, and we didn't miss it at all)
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Approximately ½ cup of cherry tomatoes, halved (add more or less, depending on your preference)
Lemon zest, for serving

Directions:
1. Cook the pasta according to the package directions.
2. While the pasta is cooking, process the garlic, basil, lemon juice, EVOO, avocado and water in a food processor until smooth, stopping to scrape down the bowl as needed. If the sauce is too thick, add a bit more oil or water. Season with salt (optional) and/or pepper to taste.
3. When the pasta is finished, drain it and put it back into the pot. Stir the avocado cream sauce and the cherry tomatoes into the pasta until combined.
4. You can gently rewarm the pasta if desired or serve it at room temperature. Top each serving with a little lemon zest and some fresh chopped basil, if desired.

If you would like to receive more healthy, quick recipes, sign up for my newsletter and follow me on Facebook. And if you have any fast and tasty recipe suggestions of your own, please leave a Comment below.

Until next time, be happy and healthy,
Kathleen

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The Silent Killer In Your Home And What To Do About It

3/29/2017

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For several decades, I have focused on working out and eating healthy, organic foods in an attempt to stay fit and promote good health and overall wellness. With numerous fitness and nutrition certifications and bad genetics (i.e., an extensive family history of cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer's), I know that what I put into my body and how I treat it play critical roles in determining whether those bad genes remain in the background or move to center stage and become the main act.

I also have tried to reduce the amount of toxins I am exposed to in in the rest of my life. I don't smoke and I do everything I can to stay away from second-hand smoke. I avoid hard liquor (beer and wine are another story and a work-in-progress...). I don't use harsh chemicals or cleaners in our home, and I go to the local natural food store every week to get reverse osmosis water for our family.

But when it comes to what I put on my body - lotions, potions, shampoos, washes, lipsticks, blushes, creams, etc. - I have been far less diligent. As a self-proclaimed personal care product snob, the performance of products has always been critical to me, and while I have dipped my toes into the world of "healthier beauty" numerous times, I have generally been disappointed with the results and gone back to using old favorites from the department store that quite frankly performed better.

And yet as an educated health and wellness professional, I know that what I put on my body is as important as what I put in my body when it comes to overall health and wellbeing. Your skin is your largest organ, and the proliferation of transdermal patches worn on the skin for the delivery of medication clearly reveals that what you put on your skin is very quickly absorbed into your bloodstream.

In essence, you are not only what you eat, but you are also what you wear on your skin.

With this knowledge, I have spent over a decade searching for products that are both high-performing and also clean and safe, a search that became even more critical to me after having Beautiful Baby A (BBA) last summer and after my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer (for the second time) this winter. While doing research on safe, non-toxic baby care products on the Environmental Working Group's (EWG) Skin Deep database, I stumbled upon a relative newcomer to the industry - a brand of skincare, cosmetics and personal care products that not only outperforms my (former) favorite department store brands, but that lives and breathes its mission of putting safer products into the hands of everyone.

The brand I discovered is Beautycounter, and that discovery has improved my health and the health of my family.

If you are not familiar with EWG, it is a non-profit, non-partisan, independent environmental research organization that specializes in research, education and advocacy in several areas, including toxic chemicals. If you are familiar with EWG, numerous Beautycounter products are EWG-verified, and every single product I looked up, got a green light from the organization. No other company I researched compared.

Beautycounter was founded by Gregg Renfrew, a former high-powered player in the retail industry, who was inspired to start the company after becoming a mom herself and realizing that the seemingly "all natural" and organic products she was using on her children contained toxic ingredients that were scientifically linked to cancer, reproductive issues and hormone disruption.

Out of this realization, she created a company that produces skincare, haircare and body care for the whole family, as well as products for baby and kids and an entire line of cosmetics, that are cleaner and safer than any other products I have ever researched or used. She created a company that partners with non-profits like EWG, The Breast Cancer Fund, and Healthy Child Healthy World, to help make the world a healthier place by donating to environmental health research.

The U.S. has only banned 30 ingredients from use in personal care products due to toxicity. The European Union has banned over 1,300. Beautycounter goes above and beyond both standards and includes over 1,500 questionable or harmful ingredients on its "Never List" (i.e., never will they be used in their products), all while ensuring that their products are as high-performing and luxurious as any other brand on the market. And they truly are.

Those of you who know me or have followed me for a while here or on Facebook know that first and foremost, when it comes to health and wellness, I am an educator. I have spent a large portion of my life studying and researching all things fitness, nutrition and wellness and freely and honestly sharing this knowledge with others to help better their lives in the same way that having and applying this knowledge has bettered mine.

I am not a salesperson, and I have turned down numerous opportunities to support or represent other companies and products in the past because I pride myself on speaking the truth and only associating myself with brands and products in which I truly believe. So, when I had the opportunity to partner with Beautycounter and make its mission part of my own, it was a big deal for me, but I feel compelled to become a part of its movement to put safer products into the hands of everyone because I love my friends and family members. I love their children. I love my child. And I want to share with all of them - with all of you - whatever information I can about how to live a longer, healthier, happier life.

Ultimately, I truly believe in this company, its products, and its mission, and I want my family to be as safe and healthy as possible.

And so today, I launch my new business venture as a Beautycounter Consultant. If you are interested in finding out more about the company, its mission, how to spring clean your personal care wardrobe and incorporate safer and healthier products into your home; or would like free samples of some of my favorite products or a one-on-one consultation with me, send me a note to kathleen(at)bellsandpeppers.com or leave a Comment below. I would love to share my experience, knowledge and honest, straight-forward reviews and recommendations to help you incorporate healthier habits into your life. You can also learn more about Beautycounter on my Beautycounter website.

Until next time, be happy, healthy, safe and beautiful,

Kathleen

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Why I'm a Complete Fraud, and the Reason I'm Coming Clean

3/24/2017

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I feel like a fraud.

I've often warned of the dangers of social media, since most people use it as a "highlight reel," only posting their happy, shiny moments and never the unfortunate moments that are a part of real life, particularly #realmomlife. This can make the rest of us, who are scrolling through our Facebook feeds sitting behind a locked bathroom door late night whilst downing a glass of wine and shoveling chocolate soy ice cream into our mouths trying to embrace the only "me time" we have gotten in weeks, feel inadequate and like failures.

And yet, if you look at my Facebook page recently, you might think my life is all rainbows, roses and unicorns. I, too, have fallen into the "highlight reel" trap, and it's time to come clean.

Like so many of you, I'm struggling right now to keep the many balls I have in the air from crashing down all over me.

I'm struggling to break free from what seems like an endless to-do list and find just a few moments to take a deep breath and have some fun.

I'm struggling to figure out who I am and who I want to be after having Beautiful Baby Ava (BBA) last June. After spending nearly 43 years focused on academic, professional and athletic achievement, I find myself in a place where I never thought I would be - madly in love with my little girl and wanting to experience life alongside her every day. I want to make her homemade meals and kiss her boo-boos when she bumps her head. I want to be there to witness all of her developmental milestones and see her smiling face every morning when she awakens.

At the same time, I long to find the time to use my talents and intellect for something truly meaningful - like helping others become healthier, happier versions of themselves - and I desperately miss certain aspects of my old life. Like catching a movie or a TV show every now and then. Or taking a bubble bath. Or going out on a random Tuesday night with friends. Or reading a book or a magazine. Or having time to dry my hair and put on makeup. Or wearing something other than leggings or sweatpants. Or doing nothing.

You see, my life right now - like many of yours, I suspect - is a whirlwind of tasks, with little, if any, downtime. It's Groundhog Day, and that day looks like this:

Get up at o'dark-thirty to pump before I workout, so I can get in a training session before BBA wakes up. I'm exhausted, because BBA still wakes up 2-4 times a night to feed, which I hoped to end with Cry It Out, but her pediatrician told us that would be "mean," because BBA is feeding at night because she is too distracted to feed much during the day, so she is really hungry, which means my over-a-year-long stretch of not getting a full night's sleep is still going strong.

Rush to get in my newly-invented Daily 15 (15-minute, intense workout) and maybe have time to grab an Almond Milk Chai Tea Latte from Peet's on my way home, which is basically the only thing I do for myself during the day (and yet I feel guilty for spending $5.67 every day on a sugary tea drink...). Walk Bailey the Pup, feed BBA and put her breakfast together, maybe have time to shower (or maybe not), throw in a load of what seems to be a never-ending pile of laundry (how can a baby possibly produce so much laundry?), grab a quick bite for myself and start working.

My new workspace is in our garage, next to my gym equipment, since my prior home office space (our dining room table) is near where BBA spends her time playing with The Au Pair (and my prior gym is now BBA's nursery). If there is a less inspiring environment in which to work or workout than a garage that is actually used to store a car and tools and bikes and baby strollers, etc., I'm not sure what it is.

When I get breaks from work, I feed BBA (I know "breast is best," but I am looking forward to weaning her when she turns one in exactly 2 months and 3 weeks - but who's counting?), fold laundry, do other random housework, put BBA's lunch together and go back to my dark cove to resume work.

After I finish working, I rush (see the trend here) to get dinner made for the family and BBA before The Au Pair is off duty, since cooking dinner with an active, crawling 9-month old is a nightmare. Once dinner is made, I'm on BBA duty, and we play or go for a walk and often FaceTime a family member until it's time to eat.

I get dinner on the table for The Man, the Au Pair and me, and try to shovel my food in quickly while feeding BBA her meal (usually my meal is cold by the time I get to it). I clean up after dinner (The Man helps if BBA is too tired to stay up), and then I start BBA's bedtime routine, which includes a bath every other night, a long feeding (sometimes 45 minutes), and some soothing music (more for me than for her, I suspect).

By the time BBA is down for the night (or rather, for the next 2-3 hours), I am exhausted, and while I have aspirations of staying up to watch a movie with The Man or do some reading, I generally retreat to the bedroom and go to bed, knowing that in a few hours, I'll be up again to feed the little miss.

Rinse and repeat.

It's a real struggle to juggle a full-time job; manage a household; start up a health and wellness business; keep up with a blog (big fail - my last post was January 2nd, people!); maintain my own kettlebell skills; spend quality time with The Man (who is also incredibly busy running a small business); care for my mom, who was diagnosed with breast cancer this winter, just had surgery and now has to undergo radiation and chemo treatments; and take care of our 17-month old puppy.

I suspect many of you understand how I feel, particularly if you are a new mom or dad (or an old mom or dad, or a busy executive, or really just about anyone these days), but I find it strange and unfortunate that so few people talk about their challenges. For a while, I thought I was "the only one" who was having difficulty keeping up with it all, but as I began to express my struggles with several close friends, they started opening up about their own difficulties, which is why I decided to write this post.

You see, having BBA is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And it is also the most challenging. Raising a child is monumentally difficult, especially if you are Type A+ and have high standards, and while it is easy for others to give the advice that my standards and expectations will have to "change" (i.e., lower), it is much harder to take that advice and run with it without feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt and failure - and quite honestly, without going against the core of who I am. And figuring out who I am and what I want to do "when I grow up" now that "Mama" has been added to the very top of my bio is something that is stressing me out more than I could have ever imagined.

While I don't have any answers or words of wisdom to share on this topic right now (perhaps some of you do?), to those of you who feel like you can't do it all or be it all. To those of you struggling to keep up. To those of you who are truly grateful for what you have but who also long for aspects of a previous life, I want you to know that despite what you see on your Facebook feed and Instagram, it is OK to feel this way. You are not a bad person for both loving and hating your life right now. And you are not alone.

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Why I Am Throwing Traditional New Year's Resolutions Out The Window (And How To Make Positive, Life-Long Change)

1/2/2017

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New Year's. The time we get brand new calendars, set brand new goals, and start over with a clean slate. A slate that generally stays clean for maybe a few days or a few weeks, until it is tarnished with a glass of wine here and a cookie there. And then the grandiose resolutions we were so committed to on January 2nd are quickly forgotten, and we fall back into our regular routines and habits, and we vow to try again next Monday, and then the following Monday and the following, and ultimately enough Mondays pass that we decide to wait until next New Year's to change all of our bad habits in one fell swoop. Which, of course, dooms us to failure from the start. Again.

Throughout the years, I, too, have succombed to this circular pattern. Historically, I spend hours, days and even weeks pondering all of bad habits I want to change and the good habits I want to incorporate into my life. The list is very thoughtful and comprehensive, detailing commitments in all facets of life - fitness, nutrition, finances, spirituality, personal development, relationships, household, etc., etc. And if I am being honest (and this blog is all about honesty and authenticity), I may get through a week sticking with perhaps 1 or 2 of my 10+ resolutions before I fall off the wagon (and decide to try again next Monday...).

This year, my resolution prep was no different. I even invested in a few, quite lovely (and actually very useful and highly recommended) workbooks from Leonie Dawson that help guide you to your yearly personal and professional goals, and I spent precious hours over the Christmas holiday analyzing the current state of my life and creating a long list of things I resolved to do or not do in 2017. Save a certain amount of money. Start a nutrition and kettlebell coaching business, in-person and online, attracting a certain number of clients and making a certain amount of money each month. Read at least 2 books a month. Declutter our entire house. Find a new church community close to where we live. Cook through all of the recipes in my friend Tess Challis' Radiant Health, Inner Wealth cookbook (I still plan on doing this...more in an upcoming blog). Obtain my RKC kettlebell instructor certification. Cure cancer. Bring peace to the Middle East...

But when I returned from my holiday visit to my hometown, I had what Oprah would call an ah-ha moment that would support my desire to constantly improve and become a better person but get me out of the vicious New Year's Resolution circle. As I contemplated the type of person I wanted to be in 2017 and reflected on the type of person I became in 2016, when I ventured into motherhood for the very first time, I remembered an article I once read by a renowned Stanford University professor and expert in human behavior change named BJ Fogg, whose research has found that long-term behavior change is only truly possible by taking itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny baby steps consistently over time. I then looked at my lovely, 6 1/2-month old daughter, the Beautiful Baby A (BBA), and realized that the only resolution that seemed worthwhile for me to make in the upcoming year is to strive every day to be a little better and to do a little better for her, so that I am consistently striving to become the type of person that I would like my lovely, 6 1/2-month old daughter to be.

I have a plaque with this quote hanging in BBA's nursery.

This is, of course, probably the tallest order when it comes to New Year's Resolutions I have ever made, but since BBA is learning everything about life right now from me (and her dada), there could be no commitment more important, more impactful or more meaningful.

Ultimately, I do not want my daughter becoming a victim of the New Year's Resolution monster. I do not want her getting trapped in the all-or-nothing, perfectionist-or-bust perspective on life. I do not want her spending her Sundays every week telling herself she'll start being the person she wants to be tomorrow. I do not want her Decembers to be spent binge watching trash TV on the couch while she stuffs her face with sweets and holiday cocktails (obviously, after she turns 21...) in anticipation of starting over in January by drinking only green smoothies and working out twice a day. This rollercoaster is not only frustrating and demoralizing, but it causes us to spend our lives knee deep in our imperfections, flaws and failures, rather than focusing on all of unique and wonderful traits that makes us the special and beautiful human beings we all are.

BBA getting an early start on her resolution to become a kettlebell-er in 2017.

So this year I challenge you to think about your New Year's Resolutions a little differently. To look at the areas of your life you'd most like to improve and to commit to doing just a tiny bit better or a tiny bit more today. That may mean having a few more sips of water today than you did yesterday. Or donating $1 to your favorite charity rather than $0. Or getting up 1 minute earlier. Or going for a 5-minute walk. To support this process and keep myself accountable, I will be posting The Resolution Daily every day on my Facebook page (are you following me on FB, and if not, why not?), providing daily advice and tips on how to make consistent and tiny improvements and ditch the transform-every-aspect-of-your-life-overnight New Year's Resolution mentality once and for all.

WDIWMDTB. Who Do I Want My Daughter To Become. That is my mantra for 2017. And whether you have children or not, I challenge you to think about this mantra as you move forward with your life each and every day this year, and resolve to take just one, baby step closer to becoming that person yourself. What tiny step are you going to take today? Leave a Comment below and share.

Until next time, be happy and healthy,
Kathleen

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The 6-Minute Workout That Will Keep You Fit This Holiday Season

12/7/2016

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In last week's blog post, I talked about 3 easy steps you can take to avoid gaining weight this holiday season. Sticking with the holiday theme (because isn't that where all of our minds are this month?), I want to address a common issue raised to me this time of year, i.e., the challenge of fitting in workouts with packed calendars, lots of travel, and no access to exercise equipment on the road. So to simplify working out for all of you busy road warriors this holiday season (or for anyone else challenged with fitting exercise into his/her busy schedule), I have designed a simple workout template to create big-bang-for-your-buck workouts that can be done in a small space, with virtually no equipment, in just 6 minutes, scaleable for a total beginner up to the most advanced athlete. Just follow these 4 steps to design your own, individualized workout.

And then there is my 6-Minute Workout...

Step 1:

Before beginning any new exercise program, consult with your doctor and/or medical professional. Even working out at the Beginner level can be strenuous if you are injured, out-of-shape, have a medical condition, are drunk (or hungover), or just having a bad day. So please be safe rather than sorry and check with your doc.

Step 2:

Identify your fitness level, from Beginner - someone who is either brand new to exercise or returning after some time away - to Intermediate or Advanced. Extreme fitness fanatics with a high-level of skill might enjoy the Advanced Challenge moves provided below.

Step 3:

Based on your fitness level, select one exercise from each of the following categories: Upper Body Pull, Lower Body Push, Upper Body Push, Lower Body Pull, Core and Power. Note that Upper Body Pull movements are notoriously difficult to do without equipment, so I have included a few that require either bands and a door attachment, which you can purchase for very little money on Amazon and easily pack in a small carry-on, or an apparatus to do a chin-up/pull-up for the advanced level, which you likely can find while traveling at a local playground (monkey bars!) or in a hotel gym. I have also included a few exercises with my absolute favorite piece of travel-friendly exercise equipment - the Valslide - which is also inexpensive, compact, and can provide you with a gym's-worth of exercise moves (If you are going to workout on hard floors and not carpet, be sure to order the Valslide Booties as well; or you can get the Valslide Essentials Kit, which comes with the booties and a DVD to teach you lots of great Valslide exercises).

The exercises in each section are listed in the order of difficulty, starting with Beginner and moving up to Advanced Challenge moves. For descriptions of how to perform any exercises for which I do not directly provide a link, I highly recommend using Bodybuilding.com's Exercise Guide, which lists exercises alphabetically and provides videos of the moves. Of course, there's always the Goog and YouTube, although I caution you to only use quality sources. If you have any questions or concerns about any of the exercises, please email me, and I'm be happy to help.

Upper Body Pull
Wall Slides - Beginner
Band Pull Apart - Beginner/Intermediate
Inverted Table Row (Caution: Use a sturdy table) - Intermediate
Chin-up - Advanced
Pull-up - Advanced Challenge

Lower Body Push
Wall Squat - Beginner
Bodyweight Squat - Beginner/Intermediate
Reverse Lunge - Intermediate
Bulgarian Split Squat - Advanced
Pistol Squat - Advanced Challenge

Upper Body Push
Wall Push-up - Beginner
Incline Push-up - Beginner/Intermediate
Push-up - Intermediate
Decline Push-up - Advanced
Close-Grip or Plyometric Push-up - Advanced Challenge

Lower Body Pull
Hip Bridge - Beginner
Valslide Leg Curls - Beginner/Intermediate
Single-Leg Hip Bridge - Intermediate
Single-Leg Bodyweight Deadlift - Advanced
Single-Leg Valslide Leg Curl - Advanced Challenge

Core
Plank (On knees) - Beginner
Bird Dog - Beginner/Intermediate
Plank (On elbows) - Intermediate
Plank (Push-up position) - Intermediate/Advanced
Valslide One-Arm Slide - Advanced
V-ups - Advanced Challenge

Power
Total Body Extensions - Beginner
Jumping Jacks - Beginner/Intermediate
Jump Squats - Intermediate
Jump Lunges - Intermediate/Advanced
Skater Jumps - Advanced
Burpees - Advanced Challenge

Step 4:

Based on your fitness level, choose an interval combination for completing each exercise. Intervals are highly effective means of boosting your metabolism by combining intense periods of work followed by a period of rest. I like to keep interval combinations (including work and rest periods) to a total of one minute.

Beginners should spend less timing working during the minute than resting, so good combinations for beginners are 15 seconds of work followed by 45 seconds of rest, or 20 seconds of work followed by 40 seconds of rest (but starting with 10 or 15 seconds of work and 45-50 seconds of rest is great if that is what works for you). Some exercises may be more difficult for you than others, so adjust your intervals accordingly.

Intermediate exercisers should strive for equal work to rest periods, so 30 seconds of work followed by 30 seconds of my rest is my favorite combination.

Advanced exercisers should strive to spend more time working than resting, e.g., 40 seconds of work followed by 20 seconds of rest, or 45 seconds of work followed by 15 seconds of rest.

Because it is important to follow these work-rest periods exactly and not guesstimate, I highly recommend downloading the free Gymboss app, which will allow you to easily set your interval time and number of intervals. Or you can invest in an actual Gymboss timer (I have one and love it), which is relatively inexpensive, tiny, and includes a band so that you can easily wear the timer on your arm while you workout.

Step 5:

Design your workout and get moving! Once you have selected your exercises from each category and your interval combination, all you need to do is figure out how many sets (or rounds) of the exercises you want to do, set your timer and go! An example of a Beginner workout might be one set (i.e., a single, 6-minute round) that might look something like this...

Beginner Workout Example
Perform WALL SLIDES for 15 seconds, rest for 45 seconds, then move directly to WALL SQUATS. Hold the Wall Squat for 15 seconds, rest for 45 seconds, then move directly to WALL PUSH-UPS. Perform the push-ups for 15 seconds, rest for 45 seconds, then move directly to HIP BRIDGES. Perform the bridges for 15 seconds, rest for 45 seconds, then move directly to the PLANK (ON KNEES). Hold the plank for 15 seconds, rest for 45 seconds, then move directly to TOTAL BODY EXTENSIONS. Perform the extensions for 15 seconds and then congratulate yourself for a job well done!

If you have more time and want an additional challenge, you can do 2-5 total rounds of the workout, totaling up to 30 minutes at most. Take a one-minute break between rounds, and be sure to keep yourself well hydrated.

You may be wondering whether you need to perform a warm-up before completing this workout. While doing a brief warm-up is always preferred, if your time is limited, a warm-up is not required since these exercises use only bodyweight and are therefore self-limiting (i.e., your body will only let you do as much as it can physically do). If you do have an extra minute or two to complete a brief warm-up, I recommend dynamic movements like forward and backward arm circles, high kicks, and marching or jogging in place. If you have a few minutes to cooldown, finish with a few basic stretches like those found here.

A solid warm-up example

And there you have it. A short and simple workout template that allows you to workout anywhere, at anytime, with no excuses! Wishing you a healthy and fit holiday season.

Until next time, be happy and healthy,
Kathleen

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3 Simple Steps to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

11/29/2016

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The holiday season is in full swing, and that means that the average American will gain approximately 1.3 pounds before the calendar flips to 2017 - pounds that generally remain with us throughout the new year. To avoid "being average" this holiday season but still enjoy all of the festivities that this time of year brings, I have 3 simple steps you can follow for the entire month of December to avoid holiday weight gain without sacrificing fun with family and friends.

Step #1 - Establish your Daily Bare Minimums and stick to them every day in December, no matter what. Most diets fail because they are too restrictive to follow long term, and certainly the holiday season is not the time to try to enforce overly stringent diet and fitness rules. Daily Bare Minimums (DBMs) are simple, healthy habits that you do on a daily basis, regardless of how hectic and chaotic your life is. It is critical that your DBMs are easy enough that you are 90+% certain that you will be able to successfully complete them every single day. They should focus on areas of your life that need improvement so that they help you progress on your health and fitness journey. I recommend choosing three DBMs and no more - one that focuses on nutrition, one that focuses on fitness/movement, and one that focuses on lifestyle. My December DBMs, for example, include eating produce (a fruit or veg) at every meal or snack, engaging in purposeful movement for at least 20 minutes every day, and limiting my daily to-do lists to only 3 items. Once you check the box on your DBMs, regardless of what happens the rest of the day, consider that day a resounding success!

Step #2 - Create a rule around alcohol consumption. One of the biggest culprits of holiday weight gain is alcohol, not only because alcoholic drinks can be calorie bombs in themselves (one cup of spiked eggnog can add up to more than 400 calories, which is a quarter of the daily calorie allotment for the "average" woman), but also because drinking can lower your inhibitions and cause you to munch (and munch, and munch) on lots of high-calorie foods (and consume greasy and fattening breakfasts the next day to "cure" your hangover). This holiday season, I recommend creating a "rule" for yourself when it comes to alcohol consumption. That does not have to mean avoiding alcohol completely (although it could), but it may mean limiting yourself to 1-2 drinks per day (which is what is recommended from a health perspective, by the way). Or drinking a glass of water after each drink before having another. Or only drinking at parties and never at home. Or having no more than 7 drinks each week. Pick your poison and follow your self-designed rule for the entire month, and you will save yourself hundreds - if not thousands - of calories, and probably a hangover or two (which makes sticking with your fitness DBM much easier, too!).

Step #3 - Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night. As a new mom to an infant and a puppy who is trying to start up a blog, training for her kettlebell instructor certification, and keeping a household in (somewhat) working order, I can fully relate with those of you who find getting the recommended 7-8+ hours of sleep every night a challenge. With the stress and chaos of the holiday season, however, there is likely no other habit that will benefit your health more than getting your zzz's. The studies are clear - the more sleep-deprived you are, the more weight you are likely to gain, not only because sleep deprivation causes your body to release cortisol and hold onto fat, but also because getting insufficient sleep causes you to eat more (some 300 calories more a day - which adds up to a 2 1/2-pound weight gain during the month of December!) because it increases your hunger hormone (ghrelin) and decreases your satiety hormone (leptin). It is also unlikely that you will be as physically active during the day if you did not get enough sleep at night, so if there is one thing you can do this month to help stave off the holiday weight gain, it is to ensure you get at least 7 hours of sleep every single night. No matter what.

There you have it. 3 simple steps to avoid being average this December. Here's wishing you an amazing (and weight gain-free) holiday season!

Until next time, be happy and healthy,
Kathleen

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Embrace the season you are in

11/3/2016

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The beautiful colors of fall in Northern Virginia

Since giving birth to Beautiful Baby A (BBA) this summer, I have found myself frequently saying "I can't wait until she [INSERT EXCITING DEVELOPMENTAL MILESTONE]..." or "I look forward to [INSERT FRUSTRATING ASPECT OF BEING THE MAMA OF AN INFANT] to be over" - focusing on the promise of the future rather than appreciating the beauty of the moment. When I catch myself thinking these thoughts, I consciously stop myself in my tracks, remembering what I have been told by many friends and family members and have read in all of the baby books - "enjoy every moment because they grow up too fast." Looking backwards on life, it is easy to recognize the nuggets of joy in even the most trying moments, and I do not want to regret wishing away all of life's little blessings, even if they are hidden behind a mask of displeasure.

I have always disliked fall. Not because of the characteristics of the season itself, which actually are quite lovely, but because the cooler days of fall always remind me that winter is just around the corner. Cold weather, snow and ice, dark and chilly mornings and equally dark and chilly late afternoons. All of the things my warmth- and sun-loving self despises.

Halloween is definitely one of the highlights of fall

Life has its seasons, just like the weather. And each season has its ugly, challenging, and trying moments, and each season has within it a magnificent beauty if you choose to focus on the moment at hand and take a closer look. This morning, as I walked BBA on this gorgeous fall day - her 5-month "birthday" - I embraced one of those moments, which inspired me to write this post despite the fact I had almost finished a completely different blog for the week. The air today was unseasonably warm, the trees were seasonably colorful, and I was happy and grateful for having this moment with my amazing child. I was not thinking about my to-do list. I was not thinking about my future. I was not thinking about the season that is to follow. Because we really don't know what the next season of life will have in store for us. All we can be sure of is what we have right now, and the right now is perfectly amazing if you open your eyes to its wonder.

BBA seizing the moment when she awakens on the morning of her 5-month "birthday"

As Thanksgiving approaches, I challenge you to take time each day to focus on the wonder of your life right now at this very moment - and on the nuggets of joy and happiness for which you are grateful. And in the depths of winter, when the winds are whipping and the air is frigid, remember that without the dormancy of winter, trees would never know the grandeur of sprouting in spring.

Until next time, be happy, by healthy - and be grateful,
Kathleen

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healthy living simplified

The Struggle Is Real - Part 2: 10 Tips for Being a Fit, Badass Mama (or Dada)

the struggle is real - part 1: my confession

Why Quitting the Gym May Be Your Healthiest New Year's Resolution Ever

A Healthy, 15-Minute Meal Everyone In Your Family Will Love

The Silent Killer In Your Home And What To Do About It

Why I'm a Complete Fraud, and the Reason I'm Coming Clean

Why I Am Throwing Traditional New Year's Resolutions Out The Window (And How To Make Positive, Life-Long Change)

The 6-Minute Workout That Will Keep You Fit This Holiday Season

Step 1:

Step 2:

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Step 5:

3 Simple Steps to Avoid Holiday Weight Gain

Embrace the season you are in

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