​"Starting on Monday I'm going to workout at least 45 minutes every day and limit my calories to 1400 a day. I'm going to drink 10 glasses of water daily, and avoid carbs after 11 a.m. and fast after 7 p.m., and eat sweets only on holidays that begin with a "C." I'm going to start meditating 20 minutes a day to reduce stress and get at least 8  hours and 20 minutes of sleep a night. I'm going to stop drinking alcohol, and get in at least 15,000 steps a day, and..."

Perhaps I'm exaggerating a little here, but even though I am not a gambling woman, I would bet a lot of money that just about 100% of us who have tried to lose weight or get in shape have played the ol' "I'll start on Monday" game (or the game with very similar rules called "I'll start on January 2nd"). We create a long list of habits we intend to immediately change or adopt once Monday comes, and by Thursday (or Wednesday, or sometimes even Tuesday), we throw in the towel because we can't stick with the numerous rules we created for ourselves. And so we wait for another Monday or another new year to arrive, at which time we've gained even more weight or gotten in even worse shape, and the vicious circle continues. 

You have probably heard (or experienced yourself) that "most diets fail." In my experience, however, (and I am a prolific reader and dedicated student of all things diet and nutrition), just about every single diet I have ever studied will absolutely help you succeed in losing weight if you follow it as prescribed. Whether it is a diet that promotes counting Points or counting carbs, avoiding animal products or following a Paleo-style of eating, cutting out sugar or adding in protein shakes - all of them ultimately are designed to tilt the energy balance to more calories out than in and will promote weight loss.

The problem with - and failure of - most diets and the "I'll start on Monday" mentality, is that they are not sustainable. Once we go "off" the diet and return to our regularly scheduled programming (i.e., our regular lifestyle and way of eating), the scale starts to creep back up...and up...and up. 

The #1 mistake we have all made when trying to lose weight or get in shape is to take on too much at one time, to adopt an "all or nothing" mentality, and to go "all in." Because if we do not adopt healthy habits that are sustainable for the long term, how can we possibly think we will have results that are sustainable in the long term?

I decided to write about this topic after several friends contacted me over the past month asking for help in their weight loss journeys. All of them listed a litany of healthy habits they were striving to adopt, and just reading their emails and listening to them on the phone made me exhausted. They felt overwhelmed, and I felt overwhelmed by their overwhelm, and overwhelmed is not a feeling any of us want to have for very long. 

If you are someone who is struggling to lose weight or get in shape and the "all-or-nothing" mentality has not served you in the past, I challenge you to trust me and my training and spend a little time exploring the world of "less is more." Pick one fitness habit you wish to adopt that you are 90+% confident you can accomplish (e.g., working out for 5-10 minutes, 3 days a week), and pick one nutrition habit you wish to adopt that you are also 90+% confident you can accomplish (e.g., drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning), and only focus on those 2 habits for 2-4 weeks. Make no other changes. Create no other fitness or nutrition rules for yourself and go on with your life just as you are doing so today. Once you nail those habits on a daily basis, add just one more fitness and nutrition habit to the mix - both of which you are almost 100% positive you can accomplish and that seem so easy you wonder if they could possibly make any difference in your weight or fitness level - and follow those for a few weeks. Rinse and repeat.

As you gradually build tiny but sustainable habits into your life, you will be amazed at the results over time. You might not lose 20 pounds in 20 days, but you may just lose 20 pounds for life. What do you have to lose (besides a few unwanted pounds)?

To learn more about the power of one change at a time, I highly recommend checking out the writings of Leo Babauta - blogger, journalist, author and minimalist guru. His book The Power of Less completely changed my philosophy on life - and my philosophy on fitness and nutrition - and helped me get into the best shape of my life by doing less. Additionally, I highly recommend checking out the articles on Precision Nutrition's web site - the company through which I have both of my nutrition certifications. PN is one of the most successful nutrition coaching companies in the world, and they have built their business on helping clients make one small habit change at a time. 

Until next time, be happy and healthy,
​Kathleen

Hello, friends! It is hard to believe that Beautiful Baby A (BBA) is now old enough to be referred to in months rather than weeks since she officially turned 4 months old on October 6th! It has been amazing to observe her growth and development over the past 16 weeks. Since I provided my last BBA update 6 1/2 weeks ago, she has reached a number of milestones, including: (1) sleeping through the night consistently, but then (2) experiencing the dreaded "4-Month Sleep Regression" (going from waking once at 4 or 5 a.m. to waking 3 times throughout the night); (3) going on her first beach vacation (and laughing at the waves while we dipped her feet in the water); (4) and on her first boat ride; (5) getting her first savings account (with a whopping .01% interest); (6) drooling nonstop; (7) grabbing at everything, especially my hair (she has a grip that suggests she sneaks out at night to get in a few sets of heavy kettlebell farmer's carries); (8) discovering her love for dance (when I start dancing, she kicks and bounces and flails her arms around with a big smile on her face, laughing and trying to imitate my moves); and (9) finding her "voice," which is a high-pitched squeal that will not necessarily win her a spot on The Voice​.

As for mama, I have weathered the past two months quite well, since BBA has spent most of it sleeping consistently and napping regularly. I am continuing to train for my Russian Kettlebell Challenge (RKC) certification to become a kettlebell instructor, which means I get up super early 4 days a week (before baby rises) to train in my garage gym, and then I work with my amazing trainer Andre at Fitness on the Run one additional day each week to help perfect my form in the major kettlebell exercises, most particularly the clean, which is currently my nemesis. Perhaps it is the training, or the breastfeeding, or the fact that I often miss meals because I am so busy (like missing dinner last night and breakfast this morning), or maybe it is because I am not spending my days sitting at a "desk job," but I now weigh over 8 pounds less than I did before I became pregnant, and instead of having to invest in bigger clothing post-pregnancy, I actually have to buy a pair of smaller jeans for the fall since my old pairs literally fall down when I wear them. 

The biggest struggle I have had over the past 4 months since having BBA is overcoming the tremendous sense of guilt that accompanies new motherhood. As someone of Irish descent who was raised Catholic, I am intimately familiar with guilt - it's basically in my DNA - but being a mom takes it to an entirely new and unprecedented level. I am constantly wondering whether what I am doing will screw up BBA forever. And when I try to comfort myself by thinking that there is probably not much I can do that can really screw her up forever, I remember stories about Adolf Hitler, whose atrocities later in life experts blame on his troubled childhood. If I let BBA "cry it out" at night, will she resent me, no longer trust anyone, not develop a sense of self-confidence, and ultimately eff up the entire world? 

You see the rabbit hole new mamas are prone to go down. 

(And by the way, right at this very moment, BBA is screaming uncontrollably in her crib, after I put her down to sleep about an hour ago. I have gone in twice to comfort her and am asking myself how long I should let her cries continue before I go in again?)

Every single day I wonder if what I am doing is enough to help BBA develop and achieve the milestones all of the baby books talk about and whether the activities I am doing with her are the right ones. I constantly question whether:
(1) Spending nearly every waking moment with BBA during my 6 1/2 months of maternity leave will negatively impact her ability to grow into a strong, independent woman? or
(2) Letting BBA play alone on her play mat in the kitchen while I am making dinner will negatively impact her social development? or
(3) Giving BBA only a few minutes of tummy time will negatively impact her physical development? or 
(4) Forcing BBA to do tummy time every day, even though she despises it and it makes her cry, will negatively impact her emotional development? or
​(5) Will allowing BBA to "watch" the Today Show in the morning with me negatively impact her brain development? or
(6) Etc., etc., etc.

And so it goes...

Ultimately, what I am realizing as a new mama is that guilt is toxic. Guilt masks the fact that most of us are doing the best we can with what we have at any given moment. It does not allow us to appreciate our "wins," and instead causes us to focus on the "what-we-could-have-done-better-had-we-knowns." Guilt does not allow you to bask in the beauty of the now or dream about the possibilities of the future, instead causing you to dwell on the past with uncertainty and regret. 

​Guilt kills the joy in life.

When you are about to have a baby and nervous about motherhood, you often get the advice from other moms just to "trust your motherly instincts" and "do what feels right to you." And I think this is the key to mothering and basically the key to living a life filled with joy and happiness and with limited guilt. One of the biggest lessons I have learned as a new mom is that you should throw away just about every single baby book anyone has given you, because I am convinced that they are written by people who have never spent any real time with a real baby. They make you stressed out and cause you to feel guilty about your inadequacies and failures. Instead, talk to real-life moms who have experienced real-life mom issues, and you'll get real-life tips and tricks that are far more valuable and practical. And then trust your motherly instincts and do what feels right to you.

Whether you are making parenting decisions or decisions about work or finances or relationships or what to eat for dinner, don't compare yourself to the Jones'. Don't spend hours, days or even weeks questioning decisions you've already made and can't change. Don't allow the information you have today to cause you to look back with regret on choices you made when you didn't know what you know now. Instead, do your research, arm yourself with the information you need to make decisions today and in the future, and then go with your gut. 

And if you need a reminder of the awesome humility of your own humanity, repeat the following mantra to yourself:

"I am doing the best I can with what I have at this very moment."

And you are doing the best you can with what you have, mama.  

Until next time, by happy and healthy,
​Kathleen